Tuesday, July 7, 2009

self sagas, pt 1 (8)

selfsagas part i

neonate nescience: notime nospace nothought noword
nosubject noobject – nothing save the nonsound of
growth & nonsense of newborn life in primal paradise
materia prima eden of innocence & ignorance the ego
sleeps in the round an infant's sleep; will neither rouse
nor roil until an image intrudes “outside in" a solitary
image comes a light in the darkness but the darkness
knows naught a luminous likeness floating anony-
mously on the surface of the sea of self then another
comes & others rushing gustatory gate tactile terminal
nasal passage riding retinal roadway aural avenue
walking skipping dancing a kinesic balance beam a
trickle then a flood perceptual flotsam troubling self-
waters the ego stirs – an undulation a swell on the
surface – opens is an eye that focuses dimly
accommodates poorly is a lens that dilates constricts
constructs artlessly from the floating debris a primitive
"outside" a skeletal inside selfsense is a serpent
swallowing then regurgitating its tail is an eye that
when brushed caressed stroked again & again by
sensory image transmogrifies shapeshifts from orb to
serpent to halfhuman dragonself extending out & apart
images a sharper outside encounters objects learns to
feel feels in parataxic episodes pain rage fear tension
appetite feels polymorphously perverse pleasure from
all orifices & surfaces feels a body feels contained in
skin & separate from the sweet & sour breast from the
mother goddess & the wicked witch the nascent ego
experiences loss knows sadness fear anger images loss
knows anxiety experiences gain tensionrelease knows
pleasure images the same & learns to wish

© Joseph McNair;2009

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