after each season of sleep (31)

after each season of sleep

I
after each season of sleep
i am again born

a perennial:
renewing my need
for things,
predictable conclusions,
safety,
continuity;
being rigidly right.

after each season of sleep
i am again cast

in yesterday's
mold of belief:
compelled to
stubborn defenses, loneliness,
alienation;
am separate.

after each season of sleep
the me that surely dies

in bedtime slumber
reincarnates,
oblivious
to the past lives
discarded
day after day;
is powerless.

II
from the
chaotically sentient
dark

a tendril of
consciousness
breaks through,
reaches up,

strains
to embrace
the diaphaneity
of daylight

dance a fearful
tango, tarantella
& two-step
to melodies
darkened by
dominance, isolation
until heavy eyelids
close.

with trophy veil
in hand,
consciousness;
steals away,
withdraws
that another not
unlike but not the
same may come.

III
after each season of sleep,
an epistrophe:

repetitve
egospeak ending
successive stanzas
of somnus informs
daylight consciousness;
a vainglorious
somniloquy

after each season of sleep
there are moments
of clarity.
eternities of choice
gap instinct
& act; obsession
& compulsion,
fleeting, elusive;
divine.

after each season of sleep
an epiphany

awaits: in the
pauses between words,
in the spaces
'twixt thoughts; in the
deep feeling tones
that define the key
of being

after each season of sleep
is ever a chance
for surrender.

© Joseph McNair;2009